I began my week by scheduling myself to work Saturday through Tuesday. Keep in mind, this is typically how much I work in a month. Wednesday comes about and I have appointments after appointments because I was a delusional loon-a-tic and couldn't do those appointments on Monday or Tuesday since I over scheduled myself. The week was already getting away from me when I made a mad dash to Target on Wednesday afternoon to buy Valentines for my sweet hubby and sweet babies. I typically go all out on V Day morning. Heart shaped pancakes, fun dinnerware, Valentine surprises, etc. Why should this year be any different? When I arrived at Target I was a bucket full of dysfunction. I made a quick dash through the card aisle and found two cute little cards that when you opened them a monkey danced and sang a song. Perfect!! The kids will love them. I then picked out a V day card for My Donald and an anniversary card (our anniversary is Feb 13th. No I wasn't knocked up....long story, different blog). Anyhoo, so I was making some serious progress. I made it home and stashed all of the Valentine goodies in the hall closet.
Thursday arrives and I go to get Donald's anniversary card out of the hall closet and realize that it did not make it home from Target. Plan B....I go to our small town pharmacy to get a replacement only to find they had one anniversary card that had probably been in the store since 1978 and it looked more like a death sympathy card than an anniversary card. Needless to say, my beloved did not receive a card. I spent the rest of the day with Madelyn at a concert her class attended. Picked up Aulton from school, came home and got ready for my anniversary date with Donald. Sitter arrived and off we went. Tired, I WAS FREAKING TIRED, but nothing would stop me because this was a special night out with the love of my life. We go to dinner and to a concert. We head home at 10:00. Keep in mind, 10:00 might as well be 4 in the morning. I felt like I had been on an all night bender. Whew!! Almost home, I hear my husband yell....hear a boom.....and then smell the smell. He hit a skunk, and I am quite sure every bit of it's DNA was evenly distributed under the car. Arrive home, still holding our breath. I instructed Donald not to park in the garage because the odor would get into the house. It would all be gone by morning.
Make it to bed around midnight....dear God I am dying here!! Wake up at 5:45 to get my V-Day surprises set up. I open up one of the kid's monkey cards and I pay attention to the lyrics of the song ......"Hot stuff, I want some hot stuff baby tonight, ooh ooh"! I look at the monkey and on the front of the card he is dressed in a tuxedo, but inside the card he is in a pair of boxer shorts, cowboy boots and a smile. What....the....hell???? I looked again to make sure I wasn't in the middle of a horrible nightmare. Nope, still a half naked dancing monkey singing. I panic. I decide that the kids are still little and they will not get the inappropriateness of the card and will just be happy to see a dancing monkey. At this point, there is no time for cutesy little pancakes and such. Wake the kids and tell them to go find their Valentine surprises. They run into the dining room and start looking at their stuff, then they get to the cards. My husband comes walking in all groggy and hears the cards playing. He has a look of horror on his face. The kids are playing with their cards and laughing at the monkey. Sweet! I pulled this off and all is well. Then Aulton says "momma, why is this monkey wearing boxer shorts and why does he not have on any clothes. Momma this is so funny. I want to take this to show and tell the next time". Donald and I, in unison, yell NO! My husband sits at the table with his head down, giggling at his nutso wife. I get the kids ready for school and remembered the skunk incident from the night before. I said to Donald, "oh I hope that smell is gone". He looks at me and said "Honey it is so not gone. I went out to warm up the van and it is still smells." "Well, how bad is it", I ask. His reply, "Just get the kids to school fast and everything should be fine." There we are, loading into a van that now smells like a barbecued skunk because of the heater blowing full blast. I wonder how long their teachers searched for the rabid skunk that was loose in the school until they realized "Oh hey, nobody panic...it's just the Childers kids."
How did I miss this?? How???
As you can see, my therapy is really helping. My proactive planning has completely transformed my ability to make energy conserving choices and my symptoms have completely went into remission. I dread Easter.......
